The Keys to a Successful Marriage – Part 4
So after we leave our primary “nest;” our parent’s home and the process of “cleaving” to our spouse has begun, what’s next? Jesus fills this out for us in Mark 10:9,
“What God has put together, let no man separate.”
Now we weave a life together. We leave, we cleave, and we weave a relationship in all its wonderful complexities and intricacies. In the Old Testament there is a beautiful affirmation of the marriage relationship in Ecclesiastes which says, “Two are better than one. A three-cord strand is not easily broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12)
Rope makers learned early on a principle that we need to apply to relationships. It is commonly believed that an ideal relationship is one in which the couple wrap themselves up in and around the other person. And when those two people wrap themselves around each other, they will never come apart.
But what we know about rope-making is this: You can wrap two strands of rope around each other forever but they will unravel. Every time. But if there is a center strand that the cords can be wrapped around there is a strength in that rope that WILL endure… that will NOT easily come apart.
Many of us think that marriage is simply the act of wrapping our lives around our mate and then we are shattered with disappointment when it all comes undone. The problem is, we forget that marriage is not a duet… it’s a trio. And the THIRD person in our marriage, Jesus Christ, is the ONE that we should be encircling first and then the bond that we have together is strengthened far beyond anything we could ever have accomplished.
Thus, “a three-cord strand is not easily broken.” We can easily wrap our lives and our relationships around the wrong things. A wrong expectation. A wrong desire. A wrong pursuit. And all around us we see marriages unraveling because of that.
Make absolutely certain that the CENTER of your life, the CENTER of your marriage is Jesus Christ. When you have done that, you will find a depth of love, commitment, and strength you never knew existed!
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him-a threefold cord is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)
FOR REFLECTION: An important question for anyone to ponder, actually…”Am I wrapping my life around Jesus? Is He the center of who I am, of what I love, of how I understand myself? Have I invited Him to be Lord in my life, or am I still trying to be in control.” Why don’t you pray this prayer: “Lord, I am weary with trying to run my own life, to fix my own brokenness, to cover my own sin. I release all of this to You today… and from now on, as You teach me, I want to wrap my life around You.”
