Why Should I Stay?

I will on occasion encounter an honest person who is in a troubled marriage who will ask, “Why should I stay? I’m miserable. She’s miserable. We fight all the time. She doesn’t like me anymore, and I really don’t think I like her.” Here is an answer.

We are stewards (managers) of a spiritual mystery. “The two shall become one” (though sometimes we fight over which one)! But marriage is “union without annihilation.” Both of us continue on individually, though spiritually, emotionally and in many other ways we are one. That is not an automatic, nor an easy transition to make. It takes time… and grace to see it happen.

We are one new creation in Christ. A caterpillar has to cease to exist to become a butterfly. There will be some things you must voluntarily “cease” being to be married. As a Christian your marriage is a way of showing the Gospel of Jesus Christ. There are people who see and understand God’s sacrificial love for us; His servant’s heart; His amazing gift… as they look at you working out your marriage… even though it may be in a season of trouble. So if your marriage prematurely ends, it distorts that picture… t closes that window. You are stewards of the GOSPEL when you marry. “I am speaking of Christ and the church,” Paul said. The Gospel says this: “We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same moment we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope. “(Tim Keller). That is the only kind of relationship that will transform us. That is the only kind of love that will endure.

When Jesus looked down from the cross, he didn’t think, “I’m giving Myself to you because you are so attractive to me.” No, he was in agony, and he looked down at us—denying Him, betraying Him, abandoning Him—and in history’s greatest act of love, HE STAYED ON THE CROSS! He said, “Father forgive them, they don’t know what they are doing.” He loved us, not because we are lovely to him, but to make us lovely. “That is why I’m going to love my spouse.” Speak often to your heart like that… and then hold on to the promises you made on your wedding day.

While you may not be particularly happy in your relationship today, the reward comes as you endure… and wait for God’s renewing to come to your relationship. He started it; we can trust Him to fix what’s broken. “He who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it.” Lean on Him fully in the storms that come to your marriage… He will see you through!


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