Author: Guest Fruit Cove

A Leadership Cue Card: I will empty myself of self

Quick! What is the first word that pops into your head in response to this question: “What is the opposite of love?” It would not surprise me that you might have come up with the word hate. Certainly, those two words are often put together as the opposite of one another. However, think about that just a little bit.

We began yesterday to develop a “leadership cue card” as a simple statement of belief about leadership. Today, we continue to unpack our first statement “Compelled by love, I will empty myself of self and live for the benefit of others,” focusing on that middle phrase of emptying myself of self.

Think of a time when someone came into your sphere of influence and you did not really love him or her. You did not act for their benefit or in their best interest without regard for how you might benefit. Perhaps it was a homeless person at a stoplight or someone in your office that just “rubs you the wrong way.” Got an example? Good. So what was your attitude toward them if it wasn’t love? Was it really hate? Or something else? Like ambivalence. Or impatience. Or indifference. Or simply ignoring them. The root of these actions is not necessarily hate but more like selfishness. Perhaps, the opposite of love is not hate so much as it is selfish.

Our leadership challenge then is to learn to empty self of self: to make one’s self-interest subordinate to the need of others.

This is a difficult task in the making of a leader, especially when one considers that so much of leadership is oriented to the benefits given the leader – perks, status, benefits, etc. But, as we look at biblical examples of leadership, we see repeatedly that leadership is best exercised in service to others. That means putting aside selfishness and becoming “other oriented.”

Ken Blanchard and Phil Hodges, in their book, The Servant Leader speak to the “Leadership Ego.” In contrast to the psychological term, they offer two definitions of ego: 1. Edging God Out; or, 2. Exalting God Only. The first definition is often realized when leaders become prideful or fearful. Prideful leaders promote themselves over others. Fearful leaders hide behind position, withhold information, intimidate others or become “control freaks”.

On the other hand, leaders who Exalt God Only embrace an attitude of humility and confidence that God is working through them for His glory. In other words, the latter kind of leader has learned to set aside personal pride and insecurity and the self-centeredness that it demonstrates and, in its place, put the work and intention of God for another at the center of attention.

Philippians 2:3-8 is a classic biblical example of what we are discussing here:

Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look out not [only] for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Make your own attitude that of Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be used for His own advantage. Instead He emptied Himself by assuming the form of a slave, taking on the likeness of men. And when He had come as a man in His external form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death- even to death on a cross. (HCSB)

Re-read that last paragraph. Christ, our example, God incarnate, chose not to enter our world as conquering king (yet) but as a servant-slave. Humble. Obedient. Other-focused. Exalting God Only. Is there a better model of leadership than Christ? And, is there a person more opposite of selfish than He? He is love. He was compelled by love, devoid of self-centeredness, and lived for the benefit of those who were still His enemies. Us.

Finally, we can look again at Nehemiah as an example of this self-less, other-focused style of leadership. In chapter 5, we read two stories: one of Nehemiah’s reform to stop oppressive practices to the poor and a second of Nehemiah’s refusal to take on the traditional benefits of his position. Eugene Peterson paraphrased the latter in this way:

From the time King Artaxerxes appointed me as their governor in the land of Judah-from the twentieth to the thirty-second year of his reign, twelve years-neither I nor my brothers used the governor’s food allowance. Governors who had preceded me had oppressed the people by taxing them forty shekels of silver (about a pound) a day for food and wine while their underlings bullied the people unmercifully. But out of fear of God I did none of that. I had work to do; I worked on this wall. All my men were on the job to do the work. We didn’t have time to line our own pockets. I fed one hundred and fifty Jews and officials at my table in addition to those who showed up from the surrounding nations. One ox, six choice sheep, and some chickens were prepared for me daily, and every ten days a large supply of wine was delivered. Even so, I didn’t use the food allowance provided for the governor-the people had it hard enough as it was. Nehemiah 5:14-18 (Message)

Emptying oneself of self is not demeaning or degrading. In fact, it is quite the opposite. It is allowing the God of all creation to live through your humility and obedience to demonstrate His grace and mercy to others. Jesus did that, and God exalted Him. You do that, and God will never let you down.

Compelled by love, I will empty myself of self and live for the benefit of others

For Reflection: As a leader, are you more likely to Edge God Out or Exalt God Only? Find a copy of The Servant Leader by Ken Blanchard and Phil Hodges. It’s beautiful little book you can read in an hour but will take a lifetime to master.

For Memorization: Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Philippians 2:3 (HCSB)

A Leadership Cue Card: Compelled by Love

Leadership. A lot of trees have been sacrificed to publish books on the subject. The term yields over 250,000 results on Amazon; over 3,000 results for “becoming a leader.” At its most basic, leadership is influence and leaders become spiritual leaders as God dislocates their hearts and places them in a particular time, place and circumstance to influence others for His glory. If it takes over 250k books and resources to explore the topic, is it possible to reduce the concept and practice of leadership to an “index card ready” statement of basic beliefs about leadership – a leadership cue card – that can guide us in our efforts to lead?

Obviously, I think the answer is “yes” and over the next five days, we will do just that: develop a leadership cue card.

Compelled by love, I will empty myself of self and live for the benefit of others.
I want to see who they can become in Christ, trust them to realize that potential and serve them on their journey.

Today, let’s look at that first sentence together.

In 2 Corinthians 5, Paul writes of his desire to persuade people to come to a knowledge of God. In verses 14-15, he summarizes the reason for his labor – his motivation for leadership: For Christ’s love compels us, since we have reached this conclusion: If One died for all, then all died. And He died for all so that those who live should no longer live for themselves, but for the One who died for them and was raised. 2 Corinthians 5:14-15 (HCSB)

The word translated compelled means to be “to hold together or compress.” Imagine a father taking his son’s head into his hands, placing his hands on each side of his son’s head, pressing in the ears and looking his son square in the eye. The son’s attention is now focused on the father, right? And the father can exert tremendous control over the son by keeping the pressure on and directing the son’s attention. As much as the son might want to escape, he is constrained by the grip of his father.

So, what is it that compelled or constrained Paul’s ministry to Asia Minor? It was love. Agape love. Love that acts for the good of others without any expectation of reward in return. Love demonstrated most completely when Christ died for the sins of the world.

To truly love another, you focus attention on them, without expecting anything in return. That doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy their gratitude if given, but it means you act even if they don’t express it to you. Love puts the work and intention of God for another at the center of attention. That’s what Christ did for us. He acted for our benefit, knowing that many would reject Him, because it was God’s desire to redeem us.

Where do we see this in Nehemiah’s example? Read Nehemiah’s prayer in chapter 1:5-10. Does this read like a man compelled by selfishness or love for God and for his fellow countrymen? What about the classic mission and vision statement in chapter 2:17. So I said to them, “You see the trouble we are in. Jerusalem lies in ruins and its gates have been burned down. Come, let’s rebuild Jerusalem’s wall, so that we will no longer be a disgrace.” (HCSB) Nehemiah could have stayed in the king’s courts. But the news of Jerusalem’s ruin so moved his heart that Nehemiah’s concern for others compelled him to action. He was constrained, he was compelled to live for the benefit of others: first, as an instrument to demonstrate God’s glory to the nations around Israel; and, second, to the exiles who were living defenseless and disgraced.

So, the idea today is that a leader is compelled or constrained by love – unselfish concern for the welfare and benefit of others. Love places its hands on each side of our head and points us in the direction of service. It will not let us go. Compelled by love… I will live for the benefit of others.

Tomorrow, we’ll look at the idea of emptying one’s self of self. In the meantime, what is focusing your attention? Is it love? Or something else?

FOR MEMORIZATION: For Christ’s love compels us, since we have reached this conclusion: If One died for all, then all died.    2 Corinthians 5:14

FOR REFLECTION: Create your own leadership cue card: Compelled by love, I will empty myself of self and live for the benefit of others. I want to see who they can become in Christ, trust them to realize that potential and serve them on their journey. Place it in a place of prominence and review it several times a day this week.

Matters of the Heart – Part 4
by Pam Maynard

Music has always been a huge part of our lives. When we first started dating, we were in a band together called Decision.  Many of you know, Tim played drums and I played the keyboards. We traveled during my whole college experience with four other guys playing at churches, college campus events and concerts.

Being children of the 70’s, Tim and I decided to have an outdoor wedding. In true hippie form I wore flowers in my hair and we had guitar music for our ceremony. The song that we had played and sung was written by an artist known as Honeytree. The song was called Treasures. In this song, it talks about two people who commit their lives to each other and to the Lord.  Even today, I can weep hearing the words of that sweet song.

The first year of our marriage we didn’t own a television so we listened to lots of contemporary Christian music. The song that we adopted as “our song” was entitled Right from the Start. This song describes the love of a couple from the beginning until the end with commitment that lasts a lifetime.

Little did we know then what trials and troubles would come into our lives. Together we’ve experienced the loss of Tim’s father, both of us have endured the diagnosis and treatments of cancer and we’ve had our share of pain. Yet our love has continued to grow. Today more than ever I realize what a treasure he has been to me.

Last summer while driving back to Kentucky/Ohio we found a new love song that we now call “our song”. Believe it or not it is an old Led Zeppelin song called Thank you. The lyrics are:

Isn’t this the promise of our God? Psalm 46:1-2, 10,11 ” God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea. Be still and know that I am God. The Lord Almighty is with us. ” He promises never to leave, nor forsake and be ever present through all of life’s trials. (see Hebrews 13:5)

I also have a favorite song I like to call my heartsong to God. It is the song, In Christ Alone:

Today I challenge you to find time not only to tell the ones in your life of your love but find extra time today to tell God of your love and desire to be committed to Him for all of your life.   And don’t forget to say “Thank You.”